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Widen your vocabulary
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“ClassiC DefinitionS & CooL MeaningS”
1. Cigarette –
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love Affairs –
Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.
3. Marriage –
It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor’s degree and a woman gains her master’s.
4. Lecture –
An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”.
5. Conference –
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
6. Compromise –
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he got the biggest piece.
7. Tears –
The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power .
8. Dictionary –
A place where divorce comes before marriage.
9. Ecstasy –
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
10. Classic –
A book which people praise, but do not read.
11. Smile –
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
12. Office –
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
13. Yawn –
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
14. Etc. –
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
15. Committee –
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
16. Experience –
The name men give to their mistakes.
17. Atom Bomb –
An invention to end all inventions.
18. Philosopher –
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
19. Diplomat –
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
20. Opportunist –
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
21. Optimist –
A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway “See I am not injured yet.”
22. Pessimist –
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .
23. Miser –
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
24. Father –
A banker provided by nature.
25. Criminal –
A guy no different from the rest… except that he got caught.
26. Boss –
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
27. Politician –
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
28. Doctor –
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
29. Computer Engineer –
One who gets paid for reading such mails……!
Hope everything is going well with you? Thank God!
See you soon!