Image is nothing without character- A LIFE STORY

Some months ago, on Joy’s birthday, the bus she wasriding home in, broke down on the  way home from work. Since she lived on the island, she called her fiance and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home.       On her way, she passed by a small joint and the smell of baked beans (ewa) was more than she could stand. With miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home, so she stopped at the joint and before she knew it, she had consumed two large orders of beans. All the way home, she made sure that she released all the gas. Upon her arrival, her fiance seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly: “Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.”  He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the dinner table.She took a seat and just as he was about to remove her blindfold, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went  to answer the call.  The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and  the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while her fiance was out of the room, she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a garbage- truck- running– over- refuse-dumped- in- front- of- a- pulpwood mill on a rainy day. She took her napkin from her lap and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek of her cheek, she ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked- cabbage- kept- in- a- spoil-t fridge- for- three –days- -in- a- hot- season. Keeping her ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like that ‘letting go’’ for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of her freedom, she quickly fanned the air a few more times with her napkin,  placed it on her lap and folded her hands back feeling very relieved and pleased with herself.       Her face must have been the picture of innocence when her fiance returned, apologising for taking so long. He asked if she had peeked through the blindfold, and she assured him she had not.       At this point, he removed the blindfold, and four dinner guests seated around the table with the mother-in-law chorused:

“Happy Birthday!”

She fainted.

‘‘The true measure of man’s character still remains what one will do if one knew no body is watching’’

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